


The first rule of book club - is that nobody wants to talk about book club.

by ssantisheep



Category: Band of Brothers, The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Bookclub sheningans, Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, Sort Of, fifty shades of grey shaming, honestly, teenagers in love, they are losers, with a bit of Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 13:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12482348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssantisheep/pseuds/ssantisheep
Summary: Leckie and Webster are in a bookclub. The book of the month is Fifty Shades of Grey. Discussion ensues.





	The first rule of book club - is that nobody wants to talk about book club.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I wanted to make a big AU where these two losers would read a lot of bad romance book and it was supposed to be fun with angst because of their parents and expectations and catholics and stuff. I only managed that drabble and I only post it because I know I'm not going to manage to write something else. Or at least not in the near future. So there.
> 
> Title from a quote by Douglas Lewis.

“Oh my God, David listens to this one: ‘My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves’ how could this have been published? It’s like the worst prose _ever_.”

David could only sigh and nod. Then again, they could have remained blissfully ignorant of this pretense of a book but _no_ , they had decided to read it to see by themselves how bad it was.

And God, was it bad.

Every two lines or more they would stop to quote the book and its horrible, horrible prose to each other. It was the only way for this book to be read: by being mocked incessantly.

There was nothing to save: the characters were bland as possible (parody of the original ones, who weren’t that amazing to begin with), the story was boring and the sex scene could have been written by twelve years old virgin girls, and even them could probably do better. And of course the relationship was creepy as fuck.

Everyone could write stuff better than this.

Robert knocked their knees together:

“You’re here?”

“I was just… you know, lost in thought?” He waved a hand around to encompass how lost in the vast infinity of things his mind had been. Robert raised an eyebrow.

David looked back at the book in his hand. “Do we really have to read more?”

“Come on! Finish at least this chapter.”

Webster pouted but relented and tried to focus on the book. At least it gave them an excuse to spend time together. And only together.

Surely if Luz or the some of the others knew about what was the book of the month they would join in. As it was they don’t know. They made fun of them and their “bookclub” only it was not really a bookclub if there was only two people in it right? It’s just… two guys liking books and reading the same and then commenting on it… Okay it did sound like a book club.

But to be fair they started doing this when they were ten years old and reading the first harry potter.

_And now here we are reading what must be the worst porn in existence_.

He had to force himself to concentrate on the book on Ana and Christian having “incredible” sex.

Robert was a warm presence next to him, and the bed was really comfy and if he could close his eyes maybe a minute maybe…

Robert once again knocked their knees.

“Seriously? Did you sleep last night?”

“Yeah.”

“Long enough?” He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“I may have started a long fanfiction pretty late….”

“How long? And when?”

“70K? At 1AM? “

he was slapped in the face with a pillow.

“You idiot! How did you stay up during mass?”

“Well… one of the choir boys was good looking? “The pillow hit his face again as he started laughing. Robert growled.

“Keep mocking me… You know it could have been you!”

“Please I can’t hit the note as you do.”

As he kept scowling David patted him on his shoulder:

“Don’t worry! You look really good in those clothes. The green really bring out your eye!”

Robert groaned and let the book rest on his face, hiding him from the world.

David thought “fuck it”, closed his book, took Robert’s one out of the way and kissed him lightly. When they broke apart Robert breathed:

“I’m not forgiving you.”

“Well then, I have to do better, don’t I?”

He let himself up on his elbow to kiss him more deeply. There was a satisfying hum coming from his throat. Their hands started wandering a bit and Robert pulled him closer to him. When they broke apart Robert’s eyes narrowed immediately.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. You’re distracting me so we don’t read more.”

“Robert… It’s literally the worst porn ever written. There is almost no plot only holes. Pun not intended." he quickly added when he saw the slight smirk on the other one's face: "Don’t you think we have read enough?”

“You don’t want to know how Ana and Christian will end up together? How Ana will save him from his craziness?”

His eyes were widened and he put a mask of faux-innocent.

“No. I don’t. And don’t tell me you want to, it’s a lie.”

He threw the book on the floor to make his point.

“We can totally read something else.”

“Fine but let’s choose another new romance book.”

David shot him an aggravated look.

“What is wrong with you? “

“It’s important to study all the crap that get published so that when we fail to be successful author with deep and profound book we can then turn to crappy romance between a teenage girl and a zombie boy and become billionaire.”

“Oh my God! Why are you so pessimistic?”

“You know as well as I that really good author don’t necessarily get recognized. But somehow everyone on the planet has heard of EL James. And she is not a writer. She is good at marketing I’ll give her that, but her writing? Terrible.”

David sighed and hid his face in the pillow.

He knew that writing was hard. It was complicated, sometimes you couldn’t find the right words. No matter how hard you tried. You could get stuck a month on a single sentence. He knew. But he wished sometimes that his boyfriend would be more …. Would cheer them up more. He was always the only one to try to lighten the mood when they end up discussing their future, even though in his case it was fucking uncertain what with his parents.

Sometimes it would be nice if Robert was the one telling him that it was going to be okay instead of planning their life of miserable writers, only successful when their worst written novel would come out.

Robert nuzzled his neck

“Come on. Did I depress you that much? I was just being re-“

“No. Honestly? Shut up.”

The other boy only grinned.

“Make me.”

So he did.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it don't hesitate to leave a kudos! that would mean a great deal to me!


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